Some people are born fixers, always wanting to fix someone else if they feel they need it.
What makes this fixer archetype the way they are? Do they see everyone else as flawed or broken in a way that many cannot or, is it the person showering another with an over abundance of empathy. Empathy is a wonderful characteristic to show to others, like everything else in a balanced way.
Sometimes people need to just “rant” and let the energy of a negative story out and, this is a healthy thing to do. We don’t want to keep negative stories pent up inside of us we want to let their energy go.
But what of the fixer’s want or desire to fix you while you have your rant? Will you just not bother telling them anything in the future for fear of being smothered with “hypothetical” solutions for problems that are not really there.
“Come here and I will fix it for you”, says the fixer. “No thanks, today I just want to rant and let my story go, please just accept it for what it is”.
Will the fixer get upset if we react from our truth?
We have a choice; we can explain that we just want to rant without being fixed or we can simply ignore telling them anything.
Not a nice decision and one that creates an energy between two people. There is a cut off in honest, open dialogue.
In the film Wreck It Ralph, Fix It Felix realises at one stage that he is actually hindering himself when he keeps fixing things and, he along with the other characters learn to accept that Ralph just needs to be allowed to communicate his true feelings. He is fed up of being lonely and dumped on his own at the end of every game and wants the lure of a golden medal.
When the others actually learn what is really up with poor old Ralph they end up having a happier life and a better game. They all work together acknowledging each other where they are, no one needing to change the other, but instead being more accepting about the needs of others.
Life is about balance and learning to accept people without always wanting to change them .. remember the only true person we can ever change is ourselves.